Friday - April 30

I think CCL is the only one who really enjoys her cakes, and the rest disappears as everyone else in the office takes a bite to sample what looks good, but is really just an inadequate fix to their sugar high. I don't know what it is, maybe CCL is studying cake doctoring out of the wrong cookbook. Maybe the Cake Mix Doctor is a sham. Something's not working out here:
Caramel and Nut Upside-down Cake

The only good part of the cake was the caramel-coated nuts, which would definitely result in a stomach ache if you ate too much. The cake was dry and crumbly. Unless CCL is studying how to be a doctor in dry and crumbly cakes, she gets a 'D' for this one. We should buy some red frosting and write her grade on her cakes so she knows how she's doing in the course. Look at all that potential she had; Caramel and Nut Upside-down Cake, sounds delicious. Every single box-mix cake we've eaten is better than this one. But, despite our detest for the cake, we still spotted CCL in the lunchroom, reaching over people at the table, noming on her own treats. Maybe she doesn't have any taste buds...
Well, she has the weekend again to improve.
-Weight-gaining worker

Thursday - April 29

As if chocolate cake isn't unhealthy enough, CCL decided she needed to ruin our lives by adding Coca-Cola to it. No, lady, sugary soda isn't going to make us skinny for swimsuit season. But luckily, the cake was gross. We walked away without inhaling it, and therefore, it didn't make us fat.

Old fashioned cola cake

Today we experienced what was probably the best pizza announcement the secretary has ever given us. "Piiiiiiizzzzzzzzzaaaaaa's (!!!!!!!!!!!!) herrrreee!!" Sometimes we wish we could be as enthusiastic as her, but then again, we would also like to keep our friends.
Can you imagine? "Cyynntthia texted meeeee!!!!" or better yet "The Bud Ligghtsss herrrrrrrrreeeeeee!!!!!" Oh wait, I do that.

Pizza

Only one more day until the weekend, which means only one more day to face the torture delicious treats that CCL brings.

-Weight Gaining Worker

Wednesday - April 28

We always joke about being mad at Crazy Cake Lady, but honestly we are mad. Resisting her food is nearly impossible. Even though we just have an occasional, small bite, it adds up. It's almost summer, and even though we know we'll never get close to laying out in the sun in a swimsuit because we work way too much, we still want to look good. This blog was supposed to help us know what we're eating everyday, but really the only thing it makes us do is go take pictures of the delicious-smelling food and want to eat it.
CCL brought in two treats today. One, of which is our weakness. I think she's catching on and making better food so we have to eat it:

Pineapple Carrot Cake with Cinnamon Frosting

Almond Strawberry Brownies

We took a small slice of each and split it three ways, just enough to get a taste. They were both delicious, although the brownies were really weird. They tasted like CCL threw a jar of Strawberry preserves in with brownie batter. Whatever happened to good old chocolaty, chewy, dense brownies? That's OK though, CCL, don't bring them, we'll eat the entire pan if you do.
Another one of our weaknesses:

Strawberry Cheesecake

I think this might be the first time we've had cheesecake. I don't know why because it's probably one of the best desserts ever created.
You people need to send us more pictures of your treats at work because you're making us feel fat. :( OK? Tweet us @workmakesmefat or e-mail photos to workmakesmefat@gmail.com. Thanks in advance. ;)
-Weight-gaining worker

Tuesday - April 27

Doughnut Day used to be exciting, but, like Pizza Day, it isn't anymore. Unless there are maple doughnuts and they smell really good.

Doughnuts

Instead of doughnuts, we ate about 5 scones

Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut Scones

These were made by one of our co-workers who only works part time. She used to bring us food everyday, like chocolate-covered gummy bears, cookies, caramel covered popcorn, buckeyes, cupcakes... then we yelled at her for making us fat and she took it personally enough to stop. Then we got sad. Her husband even wrote us a note one time to encourage us to eat her cookies, "I made you some more delicious treats! If you don't eat them ALL it will hurt my feeling." Her treats are wayy better than CCL's though, and we miss them, even though they make us fat.

Some girl wearing jeans and a bright blue tank top dropped off this cake this morning:

QFC Springtime cake

It's pretty, and it was filled with chocolate fudge. But we didn't eat it.
CCL brought treats today, too:

Chocolate Chip Banana Nut Bread

This, however, was probably the coolest thing in the lunchroom:

Flower Contraption

Yes, that is a little lilac flower in a cup of water, held up by a string of twist ties. People at our work are so smart. Instead of having the flower float in the water, they gave it a little support so the stem would be immersed but the petals wouldn't be. I picked it up to smell it and my coworkers thought I was going to drink it. Instead I was thinking how I wanted to stick it to my nose and smell it all day. Lilacs remind me of growing up in the country and waking up in the morning to the smell of lilacs blowing through the humid air into my bedroom window. Screw dessert, flowers are my drug. Good thing they don't make me fat :)
-Weight-gaining worker

Monday - April 26

Crazy Cake Lady continued her schooling on becoming a Cake Doctor during the weekend. Apparently to be a cake doctor you have to make other deserts that weren't meant to be cakes into cakes.

Almond Brownie with Cherry Mousse

The Almond Brownie covered in Cherry Mousse monstrosity looks like a photo off of This Is Why You're Fat. Yes, that is two layers of brownies, covered in pink, sugary mousse frosting. We picked through the pink glop to get to the chewy, delicious brownies. Even though covering delicious brownies with frosting and layering them to look like a cake is completely unnecessary, it still tasted pretty good.

Lime Coconut Bars

Her lime coconut bars, on the other hand, didn't look as appealing, even though they actually looked like a semi-natural food, instead of the pink mess that looked like something out of a Dr. Seuss book.
Secret Squirrel opted for the brownie mousse cake too:

Secret Squirrel

She must be the only one with a mother who told her she had to wait until after her meal for dessert, instead of eating cake at 9 a.m. like everyone else.
Our tweet friend @malcolli sent us a photo of birthday cakes for her work's April Birthday Cake Day. Thanks Mallory!!

Birthday Cakes

We like the idea of celebrating everyone's birthday once a month, but we don't think CCL would go for it. She would probably bring in 30 cakes at once instead of the two a day.

-Weight-gaining worker

Friday - April 23

Crazy Cake Lady had another productive day, yesterday.

Macadamia Nut Brownies

Those are Blondies not Brownies. Brownies are supposed to be chocolate, silly non-Cake Dr. CCL.

Chocolate Sheet Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting

We can hardly remember when CCL boycotted baking. When we were talking about her obsession today in the lunchroom, however, we found out some interesting weaselly information about that boycott from Harry.
Apparently some other woman who used to work here, we'll call her "CakeH8r," used to get pissed at CCL for bringing in desserts because everyone in the office would dig their little grimy hands into the cake and shove it into their mouths making a mess all over the floor. The little cake crumbs, in turn, were turning into ant food. So, until CakeH8r moved to California for a higher paying job, CCL didn't make many cakes. After her departure, however, the cakes returned, and so did....

Ant Infestation
(the bigger piece is chocolate cake; the little spots are the ants)

the ants! Apparently this ant infestation is better than it used to be, because now they are just hanging out by the door and trashcan instead of all over the lunchroom floor.
Ants are gross.
We wouldn't blame CCL for all the ant problems though. Secret Squirrel probably has something to do with it because she leaves food out all over the office. Even when it is a day old.

Secret Squirrel's leftover Pizza

Sicko co-workers. We're not eating any ant food today.
-Weight-gaining Worker

Thursday - April 22

Adam was an early bird this morning, as he came ramming his little beak into the window around 8 a.m. We didn't even get a picture of him because our coworker with the iPhone/camera wasn't even in yet. We thought he just came to greet us for Earth Day, but he had bigger news for us... much bigger.
Crazy Cake Lady brought not just one, but two desserts today:

Chocolate Espresso Truffle Cake

This cake actually answered a pending question for us. Remember Secret Squirrel's droppings? Well, those little balls on top of the cake look quite similar, so we can nearly guarantee they weren't droppings, but in fact chocolate coffee beans. Thank god.
We try not to eat any of CCL's food, except brownies. Brownies are my weakness and my only no-guilt-allowed work dessert.
This crumbly, gooey, cream-cheesy, chocolatey, nutty explosion was probably the best thing she has ever made:
Good and Evil Brownies

Someone said the "Good" part was the cream cheese in the middle. I don't know if they meant good as in healthy, or good as in tastes the best, but they're probably wrong on both accounts.
You're probably wondering, my god, how obese are these people; eating cakes everyday?!
Well, we wouldn't call Crazy Cake Lady obese, maybe a little chub chub, and now we know why:

Omm Yung Doe

CCL's secret workout is Omm Yung Doe. We think people were bitching to her about her making them fat, so she brought in a flyer to join her Omm Yung Doe class. I was going to summarize what Omm Yung Doe is, but we find this Wikipedia explanation much more informative and hilarious than I could ever explain:
Omm Yung Doe is a line of martial arts schools founded by John C. Kim. Oom Yung Doe schools teach the "Grandmaster 'Iron' Kim style" of martial arts. In addition to teaching physical movements and self-defense, the training also incorporates meditation, philosophy, and the use of herbal formulas and equipment. Training in the school is rigorous, and students describe substantial benefits including self-defense skills, mental and physical health, and improvements in conditions such as asthma and diabetes. Critics, however, accuse the school's instructors of unethical behavior, charging large fees, and pressuring students to commit to long-term contracts. In the late 1980s and early 1990s, several TV and newspaper reports publicized these accusations, and described the school as a "cult." Furthermore, Kim and eleven of the organization's instructors were found guilty in 1995 of conspiracy to commit tax fraud and some (including Kim) were incarcerated in federal prison.

Oh, god. CCL is going to make us fat then coerce us into joining a cult to lose weight. (jk, you people who like Omm Yung Doe) OK, I'm kinda scared...

One of the traditions at our work is to bring your own food on your birthday. Today was Weaselly Weasel Harry's Birthday!
He asked us what we wanted him to bring for his birthday and we said "you better not bring a cake!" So,
Fruit Tray

He brought us fruit! Yay! and we didn't even bring it to the lunchroom to share. Yeah, we're rude. But he brought them cake instead so we didn't have to.
Weasel's Chocolate Birthday Cake

"The people downstairs get really mad and jittery if you don't bring in a cake for your birthday," Weasel said. "Because they have to stay on their sugar high."
(When we say "the people downstairs" it sounds like we work in a creepy place with a dungeon, but we don't really. We just work upstairs, with big windows and a beautiful view, and they work downstairs, on the main floor and the basement, where it smells bad. It might as well be a dungeon.)

In our office we have different traditions than the people downstairs. We think it's backwards to bring your own treats on your birthday, so we have to go to the cupcake store and buy Harry a birthday cupcake.

Trophy Cupcakes
Possibly the best cupcakes in the entire world

Neapolitan Cupcake
Harry's Birthday Cupcake
Isn't it so cute :D
Of course, we couldn't just get one cupcake at possibly the best cupcake store in the entire world.
(from top left)
Peanut Butter Chocolate, Triple Chocolate, Chocolate Vanilla, Vanilla Choclate

Mini Red Velvet Cupcake

I know you're jealous right now. You should be.
And then you shouldn't be, because we probably gained 10 pounds today.
We're not even done.

Carrot Cake

No one knows who or why this was here. But we ate it.
And last but not least, because we've distracted you so much you forgot it was Pizza Day:

Evil Pizza Man

It's a fuzzy picture because we want to protect his identity, not because we're bad at taking pictures.
UGH. Work makes us fat.
-Weight-gaining worker

Wednesday - April 21

We knew it would be a good day when Adam came to visit. Adam always knows when there are treats in the office. He usually only comes when it is sunny out, but today, he ventured through the rain to bang his little bird face into the window.
Adam
(circled in yellow. He kind of blends in. Good for predators, bad for pictures)
Adam looks a little bit chubbier then the last time we saw him. He must be sneaking down to the lunch room to eat all the cake without letting us know.
Today, of course, Crazy Cake Lady started off the cake madness:

Yellow Cake with Chocolate Marshmallow Fudge Icing

It tasted kinda like pudding.. in a good way. We don't know what flavor "yellow" is, but somehow it was moist and delicious anyway.
OK, we aren't going to talk about CCL anymore because there were much better desserts today than hers.

At around 11 a.m. the secretary (No. 2), in her whispery, foreign-speaking voice called up to our office.
"There's cake in the lunchroom," she said.
Well yeah, we thought, there is always cake in the lunchroom.
"There's cake in the lunchroom for (mumble mumble's) birthday."
Um... OK secretary we'll go look....

Good thing we did. There were 3 cakes downstairs, to celebrate Mumble Mumble's birthday and to celebrate the Maintenance Man, who just bought a new house. We like the Maintenance Man; he fixes our heat and turns it back up to 74 degrees when it's broken.
We couldn't get a picture of one of the cakes, which looked like a white fluffy cream puff in cake form, because Crazy Cake Lady was standing over it the entire time. We asked her what it was and she said "I don't know it's Neapolitian, so it probably has strawberry and chocolate and vanilla in it." She was so wrong. It didn't have any of that. It had layers of phillo dough and cream frosting. We forgive her though, she's not a cake doctor yet!

Mushroom Cake

We don't know what any of these cakes really are, because no one gave us a straight answer.
"Hey, Boss Man's Wife, do you know why there are mushrooms on that cake? Is there a theme going on or something?"
"What?" Boss Man's Wife said. "Uh.. I think it's just decorations, that other cake has walnuts on it."
"Uhhhh......" I don't think she was right either.
We tasted it, but we couldn't figure it out. It kinda tasted like alcohol.

10-layer Sugar Rush Honey Cake
(The one "decorated" with walnuts)

And, to wash all the cake down and make us feel better about ourselves:

Fruit Explosion!!

We each had like 3 banana halves, 4 strawberries and 3 satsumas. And now, we feel like we are going to explode.
-Weight-gaining worker

Tuesday - April 20

"Harry," our weaselly weasel friend had lots of good information to share with us today. So, we thought we'd share with you:
1. Crazy Cake Lady is baking out of a book called The Cake Mix Doctor, volume 1 & 2. Apparently she's trying to get her Ph.D, but we all know she's way to crazy to do that.
The Cake Mix Doctor
The Cake Mix Doctor Returns!
(Photo credit and purchasing information: Amazon)

Yes, we included the link where you can purchase your own Cake Mix Doctor cookbook, because we know you all want to be little CCL prodigies. Just remember to wear a turtle neck while cooking from volume 1 and a button-up during volume 2.

We don't know what volume this cake came from, but if someone wants to pick up a copy and let us know if the original recipe really calls for a bunt pan cake, that would be great. At least we could eliminated one of CCL's weird obsessions.
Aunt *Cybil's Coffee Cake

We don't know who's aunt *Cybil is, because if she's really CCL's aunt she's famous because she's featured in the Cake Mix Doctor's cookbook. We have a sneaky suspicion it's not really CCL's aunt though, because we didn't think the cake was that good, to be featured in such a prestigious cookbook. It tasted like cornbread coffee cake with a cream cheese, sugar icing.

*We forget the Aunt's name written on the aluminum foil covering the cake, so we made one up and we though Cybil (pronounce Seh bull) fit quite nicely.
Also, as you know, today is Tuesday, which means:

Doughnuts

We're still waiting for the secretary to call up to our office on Tuesday mornings with her lovely, high-pitched call, "Doughhhhhhnutssss!" like she does on Pizza day; "Pizzaaaaaaaaa's here!"

Oh, good news,
2: CCL is NOT leaving the building. :)
...we're happy, but out fat rolls are angry.

-Weight-gaining worker

Monday - April 19

So, we heard some disturbing, potentiality heart-breaking and life-threatening news today. People in our office are being split up into two offices. Immediately, we thought of Crazy Cake Lady. What will we eat without her treats? Who will be there to sabotage our summer weight loss? Who will we exploit in a blog about strange, obsessive behaviors?
We don't know, yet, who will be leaving to the office across town, but we suspect if a big finale feast of cakes, cookies, brownies, pies and other delicious treats shows up in the lunchroom one day folowed by nothing the next, CCL probably left us. We'll keep you updated. Until then, we'll exploit her baking habits as much as possible:

Apple Cream Cheese Bars

We've already confessed our love-hate relationship with cream cheese, and now, we know CCL's stance: LOVE. Not surprised.
In one ounce of cream cheese, there is 100 calories and 9 grams of fat. So, despite it's delicious, creamy, crumbly appearance, we resisted the Apple Cream Cheese Bars.


Sugar-free Cream Cheese Danties

We didn't however, resist these little danties.. whatever a dainty is...
We probably could have though, because they just tasted like a pie crust with sugar-free jelly in the middle. I think it was the mini size and convenience that got us.

So, far, so good. Nothing out of the ordinary for CCL. You should probably send us your pictures of work treats, though, to support CCL and this blog. :)
Twitter: workmakesmefat E-mail: workmakesmefat@gmail.com

-Weight-gaining worker

Friday - April 16


Another successful week for Crazy Cake Lady. I like her self-imposed challenge of completing a cookbook. It makes her more productive.

Chocolate Marble Cake

Her Chocolate Marble Cake looks sorta like one of those Little Debbie snacks, like a Ho-Ho, or something, with it's dense chocolate layer. One co-worker who caved to the cake's delicious image, however, said it didn't taste very good. "It was dry," she said. "I still ate the whole thing though." CCL probably puts crack in her cake so we keep coming back to her deserts until she finishes her mission.
There were also these three little things on the lunch table:

Secret Squirrel's droppings

OK, we made that up. At least, we hope they aren't Secret Squirrel droppings. That wouldn't be very sanitary, would it? Maybe they are chocolate-covered coffee beans, or chocolate-covered raisins, or chocolate-covered nuts, or chocolate-covered cookie dough balls, or chocolate-covered cranberries. Or any of the above, which would be better than droppings. At least we didn't eat them, which helped us not get fat. :)
Happy Friday
-Weight-gaining worker

Thursday - April 15

So, we're a little busy at work today because we took an hour break this morning to get our free coffee at Starbucks, which we forgot to take a picture of - sorry! So, this is going to be short and sweet. You know the details, anyway.
Thursday =
Pizza

Pizzzzzzzza Day! When we went down to the lunchroom to get a picture and "Harry," the little Weaselly Weasel, tried to model a pizza box for the picture, but we told him to get away from us because he was making a big scene about our secret. Instead, we took a picture of a mouth-watering tomato and black olive pizza for you.
Despite our efforts to keep the blog a secret, some people are catching on to our scheme. Someone asked us today what we were taking pictures for.
"A project," we replied. "What is it for? How we treat our employees?" he asked. "um.. hahaha.. yeah," we responded as we walked away.
Dang it. We need to be more like secret squirrel.
Doughnut hole

Notice it's hole (singular) because all the fatties ate the others before we could get a picture.

Caramelito

CCL made some delicious Caramelitos. When we saw the tray we thought they were brownies, which is one of the only things we're allowed to eat because they are so delicious. But, no, they were cookie-caramel-pecan bars, with 3 pounds of sugar. Yes, we still tried a little bite.
-Weight-gaining worker

Wednesday - April 14

So we have a little weaselly weasel informant "Harry" who has informed us that Crazy Cake Lady is baking her way through a cookbook. We don't know what the cookbook is, and we don't know how long she has been partaking in this Julie&Julia-esque challenge, but this does explain a lot.
We could probably just talk to CCL and ask her what's up, but it's more fun to make up stories and theories about her odd ways.
CCL brought in a beautiful cake today. It was almost as beautiful as the Easter Bunny Wedding Cake. I'd use this one for my wedding day:
Elegant Almond Amaretto Cake

We perceive the elegance is in the slenderly-cut almonds... or the near perfect three layers. It's almost so perfect that people can cut it correctly, without having it fall in cumbles all over the place like usual. We shaved off a sliver to give it a taste test, and it was delicious. Darn you CCL, you did it again.
Can you sue someone for making you obese? Or did that get banned when Congress banned suing fast-food joints in 2004?
-Weight-gaining worker

Tuesday - April 13

It's starting to get a lot more awkward around everyone in the lunch room who doesn't know about this blog. There is always those one-two coworkers who seem to be in the lunch room every second of the day. No one knows what they are doing in the kitchen, but we guess they are either hiding from their work or can't step two feet away from the coffee machine without shaking uncontrollably, thus staying put and watching us creep around all the desserts to get a picture.

Raspberry Jelly-filled Powdered Doughnut

As (almost) every Tuesday, today was doughnut day. The boxed doughnuts looked the same as always, with half-mauled chocolate covered ones and bear-claws cut in half. When we went down to get a picture today, though, 10 people were sitting around the doughnut table. So we had to grab one and act like we were eating it. This, however, inevitably led to us actually eating the doughnut.
Unfortunately, taking pieces of deserts to snap a picture led to us eating bites of everything today. We really need to figure out a new system for this because if this keeps happening work is going to make us fat.

CCL's Shortbread

I don't get shortbread. It's just hard, crumbly sugar cake.
When we went to the kitchen at lunch time we had a nice surprise awaiting:

Four-layer Chocolate Cake

Again, we had to pretend to get a slice so we could capture this image for all you lovely fans. (The things we do for you.) Because about 12 people were staring at us we slivered off a tiny piece. "What are you doing, shaving it?" a co-worker asked, confused. "umm... well, we already had a doughnut today," we respond, and ran away.
Then we ate the cake sliver, and it was delicious.
We are creeps.
-Weight-gaining worker