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Chocolate Espresso Cake
This was pretty much the best thing ever. Two of my favorite things in a dense, delicious brownie-like cake.
I almost ate the whole thing...
-Weight-gaining worker
Monday - October 4
CCL is back from her vacation. You know, that thing where you get to go somewhere tropical and lay on a beach with your significant other, or visit family out of town, ski in the mountains, swim in the ocean, rent a fabulous hotel room with a huge, comfy bed to roll around in and think about everything except work... Yeah, we miss vacations. Lucky for CCL, she's been gone for the past 2 weeks. We don't know where she went, but we have a feeling what she didn't do... or did.. but liked eating cake better...
CCL's Better than ____ Cake
Apparently the word "sex" was inappropriate for the work environment, but the message came across clear. We're not surprised CCL wouldn't like anything better than cake. And if we were her husband, we wouldn't be surprised either. Poor guy.
At least he has football to watch while eating cake.
Too bad CCL doesn't make these super cute cookies...
Football Cookies
our other, way cuter and less cake-obsessed coworker made them. These definitely make boys swoon. Although, we think some may like these better than sex... well.... probably not..
;)
-Weight-gaining worker
Monday - September 27
Someone finally decided to do something about CCL being on vacation.
Raspberry Danish
Raspberry Cake & Chocolate Biscuit/Cookie things
Monday - September 20
CCL is on vacation (enter sad face)
Will return when she returns... which we have heard will be in two weeks.
Unless something exciting happens.
We'll also update you on how much weight we've lost without her.
In the meanwhile, please send us pictures of delicious food at your work.
Thanks ;)
-Weight-gaining worker
Wednesday - September 15
Around here, cake has hit the fan.
Firings, hirings, overwhelming billing statements, annoying people...
And, apparently CCL is going on a two week vacation soon.
We know we sometimes hate on her desserts, but sometimes, all it takes it a sweet, crumbly piece of CCL treats to make everything a smidgen better..
And today, she did pretty well with that.
Hazelnut Wedding Cakes
-Weight-gaining workers
Tuesday - September 14
Apparently our employees know what they're doing; strategically lining up Tuesday's Doughnut Day with the very important national holiday: National Cream-Filled Donut Day.
Doughnuts for Doughnut Day
What they forgot, however, was the cream. Instead there were cheese-filled doughnuts, fruit-filled doughnuts, sugar covered doughnuts.. oh wait... maybe there's some cream in that chocolate-glazed doughnut buried beneath the other impostor Doughnut Day doughnuts...
CCL doesn't celebrate doughnut days anyway.
I totally forget what this was...
But, it doesn't look like a doughnut...
-Weight-gaining worker
Monday - September 13
Dang it, this is how we got bored with Crazy Cake Lady the past 10 times. Another boring Monday, another boring Ricotta Pine Nut Tart.
Ricotta Pine Nut Tart
In better news, our No. 1 favorite place in the whole wide world called one of us today to award us the Customer of the Week.
Starbuckys
Finally going to Starbucks everyday is paying off!! Every time we visit our local Starbucks we filled out a card for the chance to be customer of the week, and finally, after trying at least 3 times a week for the past 3 months, one of us won! Free lattes all week = very good week.
-Weight-gaining worker
Friday - September 10
Today doesn't feel like Friday.. it feels like a really bad Tuesday.. or maybe Wednesday.. Time dragged on forever, no one did what we asked of them and everything just got really frustrating. So, I don't know if it was good or bad that we had about a million treats at work today, because sorrows and frustrations were drowned in dense, peanutbuttery, sugary things all day.
Good for now, bad for when I can't fit into my pants tomorrow.
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Reese's Peanut butter Squares
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Pastry varieties
5 flavor Cake
CCL make the cake, of course, which I can't even explain because I have no idea what the 5 flavors were. It's like when you're in kindergarten and you mix all the vibrant blues, greens, reds and yellow paint together and after a while the paint just looks a poopy brown color; that's what this cake tasted like.
Thank God it's really Friday.
-Weight-gaining Worker
Thursday - September 9
We’ve been gone for a while… a two month-and-17 days while to be exact.
Abandoned followers have asked if Crazy Cake Lady stopped making cakes. That answer, is a definitive “No.” She, unlike us, has continued the tradition of daily cake feasts. She, unlike us, has not faltered to boredom or expense or time constraints and stopped making treats. Not even for one day.
I guess that’s what makes her crazy.
We’re going to try, once again, to live with a little CCL passion. Because who doesn’t need a little more foodporn in their lives?
Thanks to the Facebook petition and dedicated followers, like @JaderB23, who, unlike us, never gets bored of looking at crumbly, melty, sticky, sugary treats day after day. For you, some cookies:
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Sunflower Shortbread Cookies
Oh, and yes, Thursdays are still pizza day. But we’re taking this one from the archives.
Hawaiian Pizza
At least bikini season is ending.
Xo
-Weight-gaining worker
Tuesday - June 22
We are actually really bored with Crazy Cake Lady, which is why sometimes we'll abandon this blog until something exciting happens. Not that today was really exciting.. we had the usual Tuesday Doughnuts ...
Doughnuts
But CCL did try to mix it up with a Clafoutis.
Prune Clafoutis Cake
What's a Clafoutis, you ask? Well.. that's a good question; and we think CCL should learn this too.
A Clafoutis is a French dessert of "black cherries arranged in a buttered dish and covered with a thick flan-like batter, dusted with powdered sugar and served lukewarm," according to Wikipedia.
CCL, breaking with tradition, opted for prunes for her clafouti, completely botching the traditional dessert, and changing the name altogether.
What CCL actually made was a flaungrade.
CCL: 0 EDB/Wikipedia: 1.
When we looked Clafoutis up online, CCL's didn't look like the pictures, so we didn't eat it...
Traditional Cherry Clafoutis
(via: Wikipedia)
-Weight-gaining worker
Wednesday - June 16
Our coworker brought in treats today, which totally trumped anything CCL could make, because they were from Starbucks.
Delicious Starbucks treats
I usually try to avoid Starbucks ' pastries when I order my Double, Short, one pump Vanilla, non-fat latte, because I know there will always be a tempting treat at work, but I don't know if that will happen anymore. Have you tried their blueberry scone lately? It's pretty much the best thing in the world; and it has sugar sprinkled on top. I love it.
CCL brought a cake, too.
Lemon Crumble Cake
-Weight-gaining Worker
Monday - June 14
Crazy Cake Lady got mad at us today. Well.. I don't know if she knew she was getting mad at us.. we just overheard her talking in frustration about people cutting her 3,029 calorie treats in half.
"They're not THAT big," she said. Well, they were big enough for us to split half of one, three ways. Better work on the size of your bites, CCL.
Upside-down pecan bites
-Weight-gaining Worker
Thursday - June 10
CCL totally half-assed her desert today.
Peanut Butter Blondies
Not only were they dry, chocolate-less brownie imitators, they only had that goopy peanut butter frosting stuff on 1/3 of the squares. She must have eaten all the rest before she got a chance to frost them.
Weaselly Weasel Harry was in a good mood today, though. Apparently a man who once tried to get him fired, probably because he was jealous of his weaselly tactics and good looks, brought him a cake for doing all of the man's work. Apparently you have to work extra hard and do other people's work for them to avoid getting fired around here. Except for us, who only work sorta hard sometimes, then write this blog :)
Carrot Cake with mini frosting Carrots
-Weight-gaining Worker
Wednesday - June 9
Yes, it continues. We really don't know how Crazy Cake Lady has all this time to bake cakes... every single day.
Butter Pecan Cake
You know it's dense enough our coworkers can actually cut a strait piece. Then, you know it has way too many calories to be so dense.
Apparently CCL wants us to all get dense for summer. :(
-Weight-gaining worker
Tuesday - June 8
See, we told you we would celebrate National Doughnut Day today:
Doughnut Variety Pack
CCL also thought we should celebrate Chocolate.
Flour-less Chocolate Marble Cake
Yes, it was as good as it looks. Apparently, when you leave out the flour a cake turns into fudge. And with cream cheese swirls, the dense chocolate gets even better. We really had to restrain ourselves with this one. Instead of eating the whole thing, which could have easily been done, we chanted "bikini, bikini, bikini" in our heads and ate a sliver and ran away.
It was probably 2,300 calories anyway. urgh.
-Weight-gaining worker
Monday - June 7
This has nothing to do with work, making us fat, Crazy Cake Lady, secret squirrel, or any other musings of this blog. We just think the little baby is cute and it reminds us summer, which has yet to make its appearance in Seattle...
Little Baby Eating a Hamburger
Other than that, a coworker is leaving in a couple weeks, and you know what that means... Cake for everyone!
-Weight-gaining worker
National Doughnut Day
No one brought in doughnuts for National Doughnut Day, because we celebrate Doughnut Day every Tuesday, but some of our lovely Twitter friends did.
@JaderB23 said: "Today is National Doughnut day... Top Pot Doughnuts anyone??? :)"
Top Pot Doughnuts (in Seattle) are delicious.
"National Donut Day is on the first Friday of June each year, succeeding the Donut Day event created by the Salvation Army in 1938 to honor the women who served donuts to soldiers durring WW1," according to Wikipedia. The donuts helped them remember about life back home.. aww AND yum.
@kmfloyd in Seattle also sent us a photo of doughnuts at her work! "Happy National Doughnut Day!"
Doughnut Variety Box
Notice how the box of doughnuts, like ours every Tuesday, contains a knife, to cut one in half to enjoy the dense breakfast ...err..desert.. with half the calories. Seems like a perfectly legit practice, unless you work with @e3rika, whose "coworker brought doughnuts to work and said 'There is but one rule for all you healthy people: No taking half a doughnut.' Yum"
Sounds like another Crazy Doughnut Man/Lady trying to make us all obese.
-Weight-gaining worker.
Thursday - June 3
Now that we all know Crazy Cake Lady likes to make made-up cakes - she's soo CrAZzZZzzY! - this one shouldn't really come as a surprise...
Banana Bread Cake with Orange Frosting
Leave it to CCL to make water into wine, or in this case, bread into cake. For all of you looking to make similar acts of genius, all you need to do is bake anything in a cake pan and slap some frosting on top. CCL must have been slapping a lot of frosting on top cakes recently, because she came into the lunchroom with a bandaged hand today. We don't know what was wrong with her, but Secretary kept telling her that she looked pale and that she should run cold and hot water over her hand. CCL, however, dismissed Secretary's suggestions and told her she "couldn't do that because it messes up her Chi." - must be an Oom Yung Doe thing. She was talking about just leaving instead. Hopefully she comes back tomorrow with hand-stirred chocolate pudding so we know she at least did some work at home, despite the pain.
Memorial Day is fabulously making the week go faster, which totally made us forget about Pizza Day. Instead of the screeching "Piizzzzzzzzzzzza" call we usually get over the speaker phones we got a nice little visit from Secretary because she forgot about us. She walked over to our cubical, where we all 5 of us sat jammed in a semi-circle eating our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, to tell us the pizza was here; just in case we couldn't smell it.
Pizzzzza
We stuck to our sandwiches.
-Weight-gaining worker
Wednesday - June 2
Sometimes when we peak in the refrigerator and see a foiled-covered cake wrapped in a Friday blanket we don't know if we're going to discover a new cake or the one from yesterday. They all look the same on the outside, but CCL never gives us the same cake twice on the inside.
Coconut Icebox Cake
If you're like us, you might be wondering, what is an Icebox Cake? Well, with a little help from the trusty Wikipedia, we learned it "is a dessert consisting of whipped creme and chocolate wafers."
Hmm.. that doesn't look right. Well, we did learn in school never to cite Wikipedia as a source, because people can make up crazy shit on that site, so we dug into the description a bit more..
Description 2: "A variation of icebox cakes is make using pudding (usually chocolate) and grahm cracker layered in a square or rectangualr baking dish"
....still doesn't look right.
Description 3: "Additional variations include alternating layers of chocolate and vanilla pudding, or the addition of sliced bananas or pineapples between the layers.
...We're getting closer with the fruit.. but still doesn't look right.
To make everything a little more understandable, we'll just rename the cake for the sake of us all.
Slimy Coconut-covered White Cake
You're welcome.
-Weight-gaining worker
Tuesday - June 1
Apparently Memorial Day has our doughnut delivery man all messed up. For the first time since we can remember, he forgot about Doughnut Day. But, no one was too worried, because Crazy Cake Lady always comes through.
Lemon Chiffon Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting
Our other co-worker also brought in treats. Thank god Seattle is banning summer and remaining a cool, wet 50 degrees even in June. If we're never going to show off our swim suit bods, we might as well eat; right?
Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut Cookies
Macadamia nuts are expensive, but she was able to lavishly fill her cookies with them because she purchased a cereal-sized bag of macadamias during her recent vacation to the Hawaii Costco. Apparently, no Hawaiian vacation is complete without a trip to Costco.
We didn't have any extensive Memorial Day party, despite hopes that CCL would stock up on leftovers from the extended weekend, but our Twitter friend @My_Ideal_Life did.
These are pics from her work's potluck:
Jello/Cake/Strawberry/Cool Whip Casserole Dessert
I don't know how I feel about the green coloring.. it looks kind of festive though.. in a Christmas kind of way.
6 Layer Cookie Bars
(they turned out much better than last time)
Mini Cherry Cheesecakes from the potluck
(These are a favorite in our office!)
I think those would be a favorite in our office too ;)
"That was all I could get pictures of, unfortunately," @My_Ideal_Life said. "People do look at you funny when you try to photograph the food. . ."
haha. Welcome to creeper status. People look at us weird everyday. Especially since we get the cakes out, pick off a small taste and put it back in the fridge without really eating anything. Just tell them it's for a project, and they are usually too confused/scared to want to know anything more. ;) Thanks for the pics, @My_Ideal_Life! We hope it's not bikini season where you are, yet, either.
-Weight-gaining worker.
Thursday - May 27
Crazy Cake Lady should be a man, because she definitely knows the way to a woman's heart:
Kahlua Fudge Bites
We've already confessed our love for chocolate and alcohol on Monday, so we won't get into that again. We have other goodies to confess for today.
Today is our 100th blog post! Yes, 100 cake-filled, sugar-injected, caramel-syrup-covered, days of CCL deserts. Surprisingly, we all look about the same weight as we did when we started the blog, thanks - i'm sure in large part - to our hour long baby food diet and the occasional hot Yoga classes.
We tried to snap a pic of Evil Pizza Man as a gift to all you fans - we know he's among the favorite characters here - but all we could see out our horrible new view was the top of his forest-green Trail Blazer (or whatever.)
Evil Pizza Man's Fab Ride
We especially like how his Papa John's sign is nuzzled between the little racky-things on his roof, which gives him the ability to deliver sizzling, cheesy pizzas while taking his skis to the mountains for a quick run on the slopes.
What we do have for you, however, is something we have received a few questions about over the past 100 days:
"How much does your boss spend on pizza every week?!?"
Two-hundred and four dollars and fifty-one cents worth of Pizza
No wonder the secretary tries to get everyone so jazzed up for Pizza Day. He's spending a small fortune. In the year we've been here, he's spent $10,663.74. That means, if he canceled his pizza subscription the four of us working on this blog could make an extra $2,665.93 a year.
We are definitely going to bring that up next time we ask for a raise.
HOWEVER, if you look closely, you can see he saves $137.90 on each order. I guess the Papa gives a discount to it's million-dollar customers. Apparently they also like to contribute to obese America.
-Weight-gaining worker.
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