Wednesday - March 31

So, Crazy Cake Lady is again on hiatus. Hopefully she's preparing for a big Easter desert feast filled with Jello eggs, bunny-face cupcakes and yet another carrot cake. She must. What else would she be doing?

While we await CCL's return, we have to be a bit more creative in the blog posts. (please forgive us now)

Small Plate on a Big Plate with Peanuts

No, we don't know who these peanuts belong to. No, we don't know how long they've been sitting in the lunch room. And, no, we don't know why someone would eat off two plates like that.

Our guess: Secret Squirrel. Unfortunately, we will never be able to confirm this because we have no idea who SS is.

Predicting CCL would again fail us today, one co-worker brought in those eat once-a-year and support a little girl wearing a unfashionable brown vest cookies.:

Girl Scout Cookies: Lemon Chalet Cremes

These we devoured in about 10 mins. The thing is, Girl Scout cookies really aren't that spectacular and they cost about $5 for 10 cookies. (ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a little) Still, I think the idea of having a Somoa cookie tastes much better in my 3rd grader memories than it does in now. The Lemon Chalets were actually recalled early this year because they "smelled and tasted funny." These cookies were bought AFTER knowing about the recall. You only get a chance to buy a box once a year, what else are you supposed to do?

Tell us what your favorite Girl Scout cookie is and e-mail your work goodies to us at workmakesmefat@gmail.com, or tweet them to us!

Cheers!

-Weight-gaining worker

Tuesday - March 30

Just a typical Tuesday...

Doughnuts

with sprinkles :)

-Weight-gaining worker

Monday - March 29

It's been raining and dreary all day. Crazy Cake Lady didn't bring any treats, doughnut day isn't until tomorrow and Friday isn't for four more days. Adam didn't even come by to ram his little face into the window. Blech, Mondays.

Thank goodness we have fans who cheer us up with delicious food pictures:

Chocolate Chip Cookies

"They asked how I got them to turn out so perfect and round, and said I should submit them to the fair," @JaderB23 said. "I didn't tell them all I did was roll out pre-made cookie dough."

Umm... hold up. There's a cookie fair?! Where??

Those cookies do look delicious. Thanks, @JaderB23!

Instead of desserts we ate oranges, dried mango slices, apples, plums, red peppers, hummus and other healthier foods. So, that's a plus.

We're still craving CCL's treats though, makes sense too, according to that story that linked junk food to crack. *shaking, shaking, sweating*

-Weight-gaining worker

Friday - March 26

This blog usually focuses on desserts, which this post will still do later, but today we're going to focus on something a little more important to overall health: My bright yellow food thermometer.

Bright Yellow Digital Food Thermometer

A coworker and I purchased these thermometers - she choose a teal blue one - online last week and they finally came in. If you know anything about cooking, you probably know how to use a use one of these and why they're used. (The picture above is not a useful technique for a thermometer.) When cooking anything that could potentiality harbor dangerous foodborne bacteria,( ie: chicken, hamburger, leftovers, etc.) heating to the correct temperature ensures the pathogens are killed and won't make you sick. Thanks to this baby, I can avoid E. coli and Salmonella, which include fabulous symptoms such as vomiting, diarrhea, kidney failure and death. They're also only like $10, so you should probably buy one.

If reviewing E.coli and Salmonella symptoms isn't a great lead in to a football field-sized Happy Birthday sheet cake, I don't know what is.

QFC Happy Birthday Cake

Cake Lady passed on making the birthday cake today, but I'm pretty sure everyone would have appreciated it if she did.. because this happened..

Coworker D taking a bite...

Coworker D's bright green tongue

Apparently QFC thinks it's funny to make enormous cakes that turn people's mouths green. The best part was when it happened to the first few people who didn't know about it. A couple people were standing around talking when another girl came up and told them their teeth were green; like REALLY green. They just stood there in embarrassment. We just made Coworker D do it so we could take a picture for the blog. ha.

It's not April 1st yet QFC, this is not very funny. OK, yes it is..

We'd also like to thank our Twitter friend, @My_Ideal_Life, who sent us a picture of food she brought into her work.

Seven Layer Cooke Bars without three of the layers

Unfortunately, we can't tell you what the seven layers were supposed to be or what the four actually in the picture were, because she didn't tell us. We're pretty sure one layer is coconut though. Thanks @My_ideal_Life!

If you have any treats at your work send them to us on Twitter, Facebook or e-mail workmakesmefat@gmail.com. Easter is coming up, make something deliciously fattening for your employees then laugh at them later. That's what CCL does.

Happy Friday!

-Weight-gaining worker

Thursday - March 25

Oh Thursday, you are so boring with your dull, routine pizza.

Pizza.

However, the day did bring a delicious, non-CCL cake.

QFC Turtle Cake

The outsider-employee described "green, hard-shelled, turtley, slow, long-lived, egg-laying, endangered cake listed, nutty, dense, chocolaty" cake was actually quite delicious. The fudgey-inside melted in our mouth, and got all over our teeth.

Secret Squirrel is apparently hoarding treats until the acorns fall off the tree. We found yesterday's cookie still on top of the microwave. That cookie is going to go bad secret squirrel. duhh.

Secret Squirrel's Day Old Stash

If you noticed a change in the blog banner, good job. What do you think? I know, we loved the purple too, but if you looked at it close enough you could see the target watermark on it, and we decided we didn't want to get sued. So, we hope you like pink :)

-Weight-gaining worker

Wednesday - March 24

Well, it doesn't look like Crazy Cake Lady went out for free dinner last night. It looks like she went on a bake fest instead. Honestly, I don't know how she works 40 hours a week and still manages to make so much food all the time. She must have a lot of ovens.

We don't really remember the full name of the bread she made, but we remember thinking how odd it was:

"something, something" Casserole Bread

We originally thought casserole bread was a gross concoction of leftover macaroni salad and cheese, but a little research on Google determined it's just a no-kneed bread. In the '70s people began making the no-knead casserole breads because they made less of a mess. I'm sure CCL enjoys an easy cleanup, because she made two other deserts last night:

Pecan, Raspberry Thumbprint Cookies

Blondie Brownies

OK, so sometimes we have to actually get a treat and act like it's because we love them, not just because we're exploiting them. So, we grabbed a cookie and a brownie and brought them back to the office. We really did try not to eat them, but slowly they started disappearing, and bite-by-bite, by three people, they were gone. We think it's OK to have a bite of everything until we review the blog and realize how much we've eaten since we began working here. sick. Work makes us fat.

In other exciting news, a little bird has been trying to get into the office all morning. It just rams it's little beak into the glass over and over again, then flys to the tree, then back into the window. We named him Adam.

Adam fluttering furiously

"Don't hurt yourself Adam!"

Adam is pretty persistent to get in the office. I'm kinda scared he's going to hurt himself though. I'm pretty sure we know what he wants...

Secret Squirrel.

Secret Squirrel's stash on top of the microwave

We found your stash again, Secret Squirrel, and this time Adam has too.

-Weight-gaining Worker

Tuesday - March 23

We think someone named today "Free Food Day" because there are a ridiculous amount of corporate food giveaways and deals today.

Luckily, or... unluckily, Seattle is a corporate headquarter for two of these food establishments, making it basically a necessity for us fresh-out-of-college kids to grab a free bite to eat.

For breakfast this morning, not really off our normal routine, we went to Starbucks for Free Pastry Day.:

FREE Reduced-Fat Very Berry Coffee Cake and Banana Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake

(notice we are still watching the fat levels in our free breakfast deserts)

"I think this is glazed in crack," coworker A said as she took a bite of the choco-chip pastry, "because I already want another one." (she still has more than half left, mind you)

Of course, less free, but equally enjoyable we had to get a beverage. Our choices this morning were a sort, 1/2 pump Vanilla, non-fat latte and a Grande non-fat, no water, dirty Chai. yummmm.

We're also planning on getting a free cone from Ben & Jerry's after work... because it's free and it's sunny out so there's no point not to. AND, Seattle's own Ivar's seafood restaurant is celebrating its founder's 150th birthday today, giving away an entree for $1.50 when you buy one at the original price.

Breakfast, dinner and desert for $1.50? We'll take it, even if it makes us fat.

Crazy Cake Lady celebrates free food day everyday. Apparently everyone in the office missed the other free food opportunities today though because they ate the freaking Blueberry Streusel Cake before we could get a picture of it. We caught the last girl wrapping the last piece of the cake in a piece of foil to eat it later. (secret squirrel??) We were going to ask her if we could take a picture, but we thought that would be too awkward.

So, in honor of the late Blueberry cake, we present:

A Pile of Blueberries

Is it even blueberry season yet?

Well, if not, you know it's doughnut season because it's Tuesday:

Tuesday = Doughnut Day

Everyyyy Tuesday.

Enjoy all your free food today! And remember, sometimes it's OK to let life get you fat even though you try so hard to avoid work fat. (when it's free!!) ;)

-Weight-gaining worker

Monday - March 22

Happy Monday, everyone!

Crazy Cake Lady knows some people don't like getting up and going to work on Mondays, so she's usually pretty good at making sure she brings an award for those who get here on time. We don't know how people have a sweet tooth at 9 a.m. on a Monday, but they do. Apparently they just don't have the willpower we (sometimes) have against a powdered sugar, chocolate bundt cake:

Milk Chocolate Bundt Cake

CCL's alternate treat packaging, besides the sharpie-labeled, foil-wrapped cakes, is the gallon-sized ziplock bag around a red, plastic plate. These cookies, however, weren't labeled, making them hard to decipher:

Mystery cookies

Our best guess: 2 day old square-shaped sugar cookies. What do you think they are?? (We figured it wouldn't be worth the weight gain to taste one to figure out what the dry, crumbly treats were.)

We won today, CCL, next time give us a better challenge ;)

-Weight-gaining worker

Friday - March 19

The sun is out and the cherry blossoms are blooming for the last day of Winter. We love Spring, and apparently Middle Eastern cultures do too.

We have people from all over the country who work with us, often giving us unique perspectives on various holidays and celebrations. Today, someone brought in this tray of delicious treats to celebrate the Persian (Iranian) New Year:

Baklava

Baklava are intensely-rich, sweet pastries formed by layers of phyllo dough and filled with chopped nuts, syrup or honey. In Persia they say, "Dahan-et shirin basheh" - may your mouth be sweet. And it was. We could barely eat the whole little, tasty thing.

Crazy Cake Lady apparently didn't know about the Persian New Year, and instead deemed it Peanut Butter Treat Day:

Peanut butter chocolate sandwiches.

Just to ensure everyone eats at least two cookies, CCL glued two regular, crumbly peanut butter cookies with melted chocolate. We can't think of any reason why she would have done this. She could have drizzled chocolate over the top of one cookie, subtracting a ton of calories, but no... we have to eat for two. And deal with all the other temptations:

Blue cheese and chives biscuits

OK, that's not really that appealing. That just looks like her leftover dinner rolls from the night before. This on the other hand:

Peanut Butter Bars

These cookie crunch bottom with a peanut butter-powdered sugar-vanilla-&butter topped bars were too tempting to pass. So we split one three ways. That's probably about 400 calories. Good job, CCL, for making us fat.

Have a fantastic weekend! We'll be working off our workfat (It's kinda like babyfat not as cute) in the sunshine.

-Weight-gaining worker.

Thursday - March 18

Spring has arrived in Seattle and as the sun rays heat up our office without having to turn the heater on to 73 degrees, it also has created some unique lighting effects in our foodporn pictures...

Everyone pitched in to make us fat today; Crazy Cake Lady, Evil Pizza Man and someone who was celebrating a birthday who had the fanciest, most delicious looking, springtime tart in the world!

Because we appreciate CCL so much, we'll feature her first:

2 loaves of Cheddar Cheese Bread

Bread is apparently CCL's other passion. This one looked like a little orange mouse burrowed inside it, but it was just a chunk of cheese. The bread was a little stale, a little sour and a little below CCL's potential.

She made up for it though, by combining her two baking passions into one delicious treat:

Banana Bread with Orange Frosting

We didn't even know that bread could still be called bread if it wasn't in a loaf or baguette form, but apparently - at least according to CLL - it can. She's so creative.

Some people weren't buying it though, and the person who favors QFC picked this cake:

Glazed Poppyseed Pound Cake

With one slice left, we award QFC the desert favorite over CCL today. Even though we have pound cake nearly every day.

But forget QFC and CCL, what we favored was one of the most beautiful deserts to come into this office:

Fresh Strawberry, Blueberry, Raspberry and Blackberry Fruit Tart

Honestly, this thing must have cost someone $70 because it was out of control. When we saw someone bring it in to the lunchroom we just stared at it. It was really awkward getting the picture, but we couldn't let you guys down. So, as people waited in line to get a slice of this beauty one of us went to distract the person who brought it and someone else went to sneak a picture. She realized what we were doing after we snapped the picture we just said:"This is so pretty... it could make a desktop background!" and scurried away.

Unfortunately, we didn't get to try a piece because we didn't know if we were invited to the party, so we're just still drooling over the picture.

By the way, it's Thursday, did you forget what Thursdays are? Pizza Day!

Pizza, Pizza, Pizza and more Pizza

And now, the moment, week after week we've all been waiting for:

Evil Pizza Man!

Poor Evil Pizza Man, that bag of pizzas is half his size, he looks like he's going to tip over.
We snuck this picture as we acted like we were soaking up the sun, but we were really being creeps and waiting for him to show up. He actually looks a bit thinner than last time we got him ;)

Thanks, Evil Pizza Man, for carrying in not one, not two, but three pizza bags nearly the size of you to make our work fat.

I think that's enough food for today.

- Weight-gaining worker.

Wednesday - March 17

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Crazy Cake Lady was really rude today and didn't make anything green. We haven't found her yet, to check if she's wearing green, but we hope she's not so we can pinch her for being so rude.

....Just kidding.

We aren't completely sure what this cake is, because it didn't come with foil - one of us saw CCL just walk straight into the building this morning with this exposed cake:

Chocolate covered Chocolate Walnut Spice Bunt Cake

This baby was D.E.N.S.E., but apparently tasted delicious, so I guess that makes up for it not being green.

We also have a special guest post from our Tweep, @My_Idea_Life

Her co-worker made chocolate cherry cookies a few days ago, and she found these today, hoarded by a secret squirrel!

Chocolate-frosted Chocolate Cherry Cookies with a Cherry inside

RT @My_Ideal_Life told us she's been begging for her co-worker to make them for a month....

"I found a couple another coworker was hording!"

They look delicious :)

We think you should still eat a green cupcake or drink a green beer to celebrate the holiday! Although we do love all these chocolate treats.

Cheers!

- Weight-gaining worker.

Tuesday - March 18

Maybe Crazy Cake Lady does need holidays to get her in the baking mood. In light of tomorrow's St. Patrick's Day, CCL took the traditional route and made a Irish cake. There's no way she'd be caught making the artificially-colored bright green cupcakes with leprechaun and clover toppings.

Irish Almond and Caraway Cake

Traditional Irish cakes aren't green, but they are earthy-like. They are made with flour spiced with nutmeg or ginger and mixed with currants, almonds or candied fruit. The cake would be refered to as a "seed cake" because of the caraway seeds.

We can't tell you what it tasted like because we all actually avoided the desert. Woohoo, bring it bikini season!

And of course, as every Tuesday:

Tuesday=Doughnuts

Maybe tomorrow we'll get something green. If not, we're definitely pinching CCL.

-Weight-gaining worker

Monday - March 15

Cake Lady must have mistook Sunday's Pi Day for Cake Day because there was an overload of it today; or maybe she is just protesting and replacing pie for the desert she obviously favors.

Even though we pretty much have cake everyday, people in the lunch room were still trying to figure out why there was a bright pink cake today.

Pink Lemonade Chiffon Cake with Raspberry filling

One woman suggested that the cake - because we're all sexist and know pink is a girl color - was for Women's Day, celebrated on March 8 every year. (Did anyone know about this because we totally missed it and would have deff. demanded more respect from all the men in our lives that day. Apparently it's a global holiday that celebrates the respect, appreciation and love toward women and for their economic, political and social achievements. I guess the MEN who made our calendars left that one off the holiday list. Not cool.)

Anyway, CCL doesn't need a reason to bring in a bright pink cake. "Well, it's almost spring..." she said. Apparently baby girls rooms and spring time = pink.

We have no idea what this other cake was for:

Black Forest Cake with whip cream and a cherry on top

This mauled mess came from a bakery. We could tell because it was in a box, not wrapped in aluminum foil. We are thinking about giving the office a lesson in cutting a cake; it's always all over the place.

Cake is very valuable in this office. Someone was so worried that the cake would disappear by the time they could sit down and eat it they decided to stash a secret piece on the window ledge.

Secret squirrel's hidden piece of Black Forest Cake

We especially like how they put a plate over top of the cake to

1: prevent it from becoming stale

2: keep the bugs out

3: make it incognito

You can't hide the cake from us, secret squirrel.

Have a cake-filled Monday,

-Weight-gaining worker

Friday - March 12

Of course, I'm wiser and smarter now, but I always thought biscotti were healthier than other cookies. Probably because I only really saw the rock hard, sometimes bland cookie-sticks when my mom would dip them in her coffee at Starbucks. (Back when I was a kid who didn't know anything and didn't like Starbucks. Ridiculous.) Turns out all biscotti really are twice-baked cookies. The upside of these teeth-breaking cookies; they really are delicious with coffee, and cooking them extra long makes them preserve longer. . I don't think that's a necessity in this office, though...

CCL's Brownie Biscotti

In other news, Sunday is Pi Day, as we learned from Twitter.

@MelisaTweets re-tweeted us reporting: @WorkMakesMeFat: RT @dishingdelights It's "Pi Day" on Sunday. ( I wonder if Crazy Cake Lady knows!)

Hopefully CCL doesn't eat all the pies herself and will bring us some Monday.

Have a great weekend!

-Weight-gaining worker

Thursday - March 11

We all forgot it was Pizza day today until the secretary, in her sweet, over-enthusiastic secretary voice, called our office on the intercom. "Piiiiiiiiiza's here!!!!" Honestly, way too much excitement. So, we were too late to get a picture of Evil-Pizza Man, but one day we'll get him, we promise.

"Piiiiiiiiza!!!"

Raisin bread and butter

In case you're wondering, Crazy Cake Lady does actually look a bit like Paula Deen:

and with her "buttah and suggah and more buttah," we'll all be looking like her soon.

eeek.

-Weight-gaining worker

Wednesday - March 10

We were a little late getting down to the lunchroom today, but we made it just in time to take a picture of the last piece. The sharpie marker scribbles on the aluminum foil informed us the crumbly layered cake was "Williams burgorange Cake," which we pondered until we figured out it was probably "Williamsburg Orange Cake" if written more clearly.

Williamsburg Orange Cake

The Williamsburg Orange cake is apparently named for Colonial Williamsburg Virginia. The city was the center of political events in Virginia leading to the American Revolution. Restored as a national monument. "It is a moist cake filled with golden raisins and walnuts and the frosting adds just enough sweetness to make it irresistible," one blogger said. (wow, Crazy Cake Lady teaches us so much)

We didn't get a chance to eat much, but it tasted pretty sweet, like any other CCL cake. I wonder if she got this recipe from the same book as her President's Day Mount Vernon Cake. There's something in common there, right?

-Weight-gaining worker

Tuesday - March 9

So far, the usual this week. One crazy, Crazy Cake Lady Cake and Tuesday doughnuts:

Tuesday Doughnuts (look one with sprinkles!!)

Monday's mystery cake: " It was like a 'Triple-layer chocolate and cheese cake fake-fondant/stale icing cake. " - one weight-gaining employee

Don't forget to send us your pictures of work foodporn! Twitter: @workmakesmefat or workmakesmefat@gmail.com!

- Weight-gaining worker

Friday - March 5

Dinner rolls? For breakfast? Nice.

Yet again, another mystery bar. Although this one looks considerably dry and unappealing.
We would normally be sad about such a disappointing day on the treats front, but we can't help but to be happy that work is NOT making us fat today, right as the weekend starts. Cheers!!

-Weight-gaining worker

Thursday - March 4

When you categorize your days by food.. ie: Tuesdays = doughnuts, Thursdays = pizza, life can get a little mundane. We always get excited to peek into the lunchroom to see what Crazy Cake Lady brings - even though she didn't bring anything today (grrrrrr.) But, we just don't get as excited for Pizza Day like we used to. Except that one time when our boss decided he was sick of Pappa Johns because "it's too salty" and he opted for other brands. The first alternative was from a family-owned pizzeria from a college town. They served a million-topping supreme pizza that you had to eat with a fork, except we are given plastic forks to eat with and it wouldn't cut through the crust - so that was out. (It also probably cost a million bucks)

The second was Pagliacci Pizza, which was deeelics. But also a little too couture for work.

So, we're still left with Pappa Johns. Evey single Thursday, for the past 10 months. (We don't know how long this has really been going on, that's just how long we've been here.)

Vegetarian Pizza w/ jumbo tomatoes

Don't get me wrong, we love PJ. One of us went to the same college as the old papa himself, John Schatter. It just gets boring when you are subjected to it everrrrry week.

As we mentioned earlier, Crazy Cake Lady failed us once again. So we took a picture of other treats in the lunch room....

Vending Machine

Too bad no one can even get to the 100-calorie snack packs and Kudos bars because everyone is too scared to put their money in it because it's been known to eat it without giving something to nom on in return. (And it doesn't even take quarters.)

Sometimes work doesn't make us fat, sometimes it just makes us want to throw up pizza.

-Weight-gaining worker.